Are we married?
We are not married. Same sex marriage in Canada is simply for show. It doesn’t bestow any rights or advantage above those granted to civil partnerships or cohabiting couples. We could get married and wave the pride flag and Canadian maple leaf flag while boosting Canada’s trademark optics with absolutely no benefit to ourselves. But frankly, after what happened to us at the hands of the Canadian government, I wouldn’t desecrate our love for one second, by asking any Canadian official body to approve/recognise our relationship.
What’s up with us today?
We are bouncing around the world looking for people we belong with and a place where we can both stay indefinitely.
The countries where we feel we belong are not the countries that we are allowed to be in because Elena is Russian. Our options are those available to Russians fleeing Putin’s war — some former Soviet republics and a few bits of former Yugoslavia.
What about Canada?
In 2006, Meg and I weren’t heading for Canada. How hard it was and how much risk it was, was not about Canada. It was about being together and, no less importantly, about being true to ourselves. Getting over the delusion that Canada will grant me rights and freedoms that Meg had took many years when I was waiting for various useless government-issued papers. We got on with our life again only in 2012. We left BC and Canada behind and have been living on the run ever since looking for a place in the world where we would want to be and where both of us, a Russian and a Canadian, can immigrate. So far, we haven’t found such a country.
Do we want kids?
One of the reasons I ran from Russians as far as I could was so that I wouldn’t become a mother. It was my greatest nightmare, along with spending my whole life trapped with and serving some man. For Meg becoming a mother also was never a consideration.