I hear more desperation and urgency coming from you lately than ever before. Can you describe what the boulder is that is chasing us and is about to crash us this time?
It’s financial, and it’s real. We’re burning money faster than it’s coming in, which means debt grows and debt servicing adds to the burn. That’s unsustainable. On top of that, my current income stops this summer, so unless we bring in new income before then, the runway ends fast.
Do you think we have what we need to survive the boulder?
We have tools and we have brains, but time is the constraint. I’m pushing hard into DaVinci/post work to try to create sellable services quickly.
Do I feel confident it’s enough at our current burn rate? Not fully. Not because I don’t believe in us, but because the timeline is brutal.
Is it all up to us as before or there is somebody else who can or is willing to help us?
Realistically, it’s mostly on us. We shouldn’t expect rescue. If support appears, we’ll take it, but we can’t plan our survival on other people changing their nature.
Is getting up in the morning now any easier for you than it was in Panama, in the Bahamas and at sea?
Yes. We’re docked, we have power and food access, and I have a focus target (Resolve/VFX work) that gives me direction. The fear also kicks me into motion, for better or worse.
Do you visualize our future: the near and the far?
Short-range, yes. Long-range is hard right now. When I look too far ahead I spiral. I’m trying to keep my head in “next steps” so I stay functional.
What makes you go on each day?
Love for you, responsibility, and frankly fear of what happens to us if I freeze. Also small lifelines: coffee, work, and yes, Skippy being a ridiculous but useful distraction.
I know you are tired of endless fight for our survival and being together. If the obstacles we face now were gone, what kind of life for us do you imagine?
A stable home. Safety. Bank accounts, healthcare, friends, a community.
I want you writing and creating freely, because you’re incredible at it. And I want to make films and build something real with a team, not just survive.
That’s the honest answer. I’m scared, but I’m here, and I’m not quitting.